Molly McElroy: Eating Disorder Survivor

If you attend Wilson College, you most likely know about the Beautiful Me campaign. And chances are, you know Molly McElroy ‘17, too.

McElroy is the founder of Beautiful Me, an awareness campaign that supports the positive side of body image. “Discover your own greatest self and understand that you are beautiful in your own way,” Beautiful Me’s website states.

Watching her work and witnessing her easy interactions with all sorts of people, you’d be hard pressed to guess that McElroy once suffered from anorexia. McElroy’s problem started when her older sister—and best friend—Maggie left for college. She admitted getting herself involved in uncomfortable situations with friends, “who were hurtful and bad influences.” McElroy began to experience physical stomach pains that prevented her from eating, which later resulted in rapid weight loss. The doctors performed many tests, but the result always came out negative.

Despite having a background in counseling, Pat McElroy, Molly’s mother, did not foresee the long term influence of a sibling leaving for college. She and her husband, Tom, went through a hard time as they watched their daughter lose herself to eating issues.

Pat McElroy said, “As a mom, I desperately wanted to fix this for Molly and it was very hard realizing that I wasn’t the one who could fix things.”

Later on, a therapist concluded that McElroy indeed had an eating disorder. McElroy called her eating disorder “ED” and considered it her best friend.

“ED came to me when I lost all my friends, when I was sad, when I didn’t know what else to do. ED comforted me. He told me great things like I don’t need to get off the couch, I don’t need to go to school because I suck at it anyway, that I was not good enough, not pretty, and that I would only be happy if I was skinny. The voices inside my head told me that nothing mattered in life,” said McElroy.

McElroy started to see a therapist for six months. No one noticed any changes as ED never left her side and took control of her body. ED made McElroy believe that the therapist only wanted her to change her appearance by gaining weight. McElroy even lied when the therapist asked her to track everything she ate in a journal.

“I lied to my parents on what I ate at school, lied to the therapist, and lied to people at school. I don’t normally lie. I don’t like hurting people. But ED didn’t care, and he took over my body,” stated McElroy.

McElroy only realized the bad influence of her friend ED after she witnessed her father battling cancer in the hospital. Despite being in a life-threatening situation himself, McElroy’s father still encouraged his daughter to fight ED.

“He pulled me over to the bed and told me to never stop fighting, to never give up on myself: ‘You are stronger than you think you are, show this world what Molly can do,’” McElroy recalled her father’s words while lying on the hospital bed.

She knew she had to “break up” with ED. “ED was like a bad boyfriend, always trying to tell me what to do, being critical and negative,” she said. “He had to go!”

McElroy went into recovery as she took part in projects that made her think about herself.  Instead of focusing on what ED wanted, more often she thought about “what Molly wanted.” She started to work on her diet as well as her academic life. She became student of the month, which led to student of the year, and also got accepted to three out of four colleges she applied to. McElroy was surprised but very happy about her accomplishment, and she stated she thought she could have never made it this far.

McElroy became more comfortable with talking about her eating disorder as she gained more confidence after her ED recovery.

She said, “Before, when I told my sister, I had to turn out all the lights in the room and then text her what was wrong with me. I was so embarrassed. It was so hard to talk about it.”

With the help of her mother, McElroy arranged a talk in front of her high school assembly, which received an outpouring of support from her fellow students.

The Beautiful Me campaign came to life soon after McElroy’s speech and continued with her through her years at Wilson College. McElroy’s recovery has become an inspiration to her fellow friends everywhere she goes.

“I found that by helping others see the goodness in themselves, and watching them like a reflection in the mirror, I started to see that in myself,” shared McElroy. “I found my passion in life and my own recovery. Now I want to help people find theirs. And so was born the Beautiful Me campaign in 2012.”

Pat McElroy told to her daughter, “If you want to deal with your problems and get better, you have to build something to help other people who are suffering just like you are.” She also admitted to finding out more about her daughter and what she went through during the campaign than she had known before.

When asked about the difference between the old Molly and the present Molly, McElroy said, “When I look back at old photos of myself when I was really sick in those dark days, I sometimes view myself as weak. I let something take complete control of my mind and body and never even gave it thought to fight back. Today I’m not the same person!”

Although life continued to push McElroy through difficult experiences, she no longer faces them as the past negative person.
“I’m not going to lie. I still have moments when I feel like I’m not good enough, and I do suffer from depression and anxiety,” said McElroy, “But I have chosen to not let that ruin my life anymore. I am in the driver’s seat now. The difference between the girl I was and the girl I am today is that this girl here isn’t afraid to fight for her life.”
Pat McElroy told her daughter, “If you want to deal with your problems and get better, you have to build something to help other people who are suffering just like you are.” She also admitted to finding out more about her daughter and what she went through during the campaign than she had known before.
When asked about the difference between the old Molly and the present Molly, McElroy said, “When I look back at old photos of myself when I was really sick in those dark days, I sometimes view myself as weak. I let something take complete control of my mind and body and never even gave it thought to fight back. Today I’m not the same person!”
Although life continued to push McElroy through difficult experiences, she no longer faces them as the past negative person.

“I’m not going to lie. I still have moments when I feel like I’m not good enough, and I do suffer from depression and anxiety,” said McElroy, “But I have chosen to not let that ruin my life anymore. I am in the driver’s seat now. The difference between the girl I was and the girl I am today is that this girl here isn’t afraid to fight for her life.”

Picture: Beautiful Me Campaign Website.